Sir, Have you ever even considered burning shit down?
Our Exclusive interview with the esteemed Fyre Monkey on the right of dissent
I sat down with my good friend and mentor Fire Monkey (also spelled Fyre Monke) over plantains and kool aid here in Colombia to get his opinion on current events in the world. Our conversation is reprinted below, edited only for clarity and space.
JC: Hello, Fire Monkey. Thanks for agreeing to chat. Why don’t you explain a little bit about what you do.
FM: Fyre Monke
JC: Excuse me?
FM: It’s pronounced Fyre Monke.
JC: That’s what I said.
FM: No you said “Fire Monkey”, which is an allusion to a cousin of mine from Chinese mythology, more commonly known as “The Monkey King” aka Sun Wukong aka Son Goku. That’s cultural appropriation, and if you do it again I’m leaving the interview.
JC: Umm…deepest apologies. Well, Fyre Monke, can you explain a little bit about what you do?
FM: No problem, Joshua. Some of your readers may already be familiar with me, but to any newcomers who might be suffering under the poor fortune of not having been blessed with the knowledge of my grandeur, allow me to introduce myself. It is I, the illustrious Fyre Monke, destroyer of worlds, patron saint of…